Updated: Jan 20
We have been frenemies for a while now. You have looked down on me and been feeding off my thoughts like a parasite. I’m writing to you today because we have been too comfortable with each other. Today is our last day being cool.(Today our relationship is over). I truly am a blessed individual, And I forget this when you’re around. You make me feel hopeless even when the cards are in my favor. When you are lurking by I can only see how empty my glass is rather than it always being half full. I thank the creator because he/she/they have truly watched over me, and protected me throughout this journey we call life. When i'm trying to be a leader you're likely to become frustrated or upset leading me away from my path of greatness. But nonetheless you, depression, have deterred me, filling moments in my life with a sadness I could not shake. For weeks, sometimes even months you leave me sulking in despair. You made everything seem sad, and happiness was always fleeting, something I seem to always be grabbing for but never able to reach. It was you, depression, and you made me feel like nothing could make me shine again. I never know when you are near, and sometimes you rear your ugly head out of thin air.
You are a frenemy to so many, making yourself at home like a fly on the wall. But your grip is so strong, you tighten your hands around the necks of those just trying to live. So many of my loved ones have fallen victim to your calls, and I wish I could have provided them with the knowledge I now possess, that has helped me help others come to terms and overcome your influence.
I have learned that you show some signs when you make your grand entrance:
Hopelessness-thoughts that negatively shape your perceptions and degrade your mood; making you believe that no good will come to you or from you
Lost of Interest - not enjoying things that you use to like investing time into
Increased Fatigue and sleep problems- you either want to sleep too much, or you can’t sleep enough. Sometimes you will wake up throughout the night to intrusive thoughts .
Anxiety - a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome
Irritability - you're likely to become frustrated or upset easily.
Changes in appetite and/or weight - eating too much or eating too little.
Out of control emotions - you're likely to become frustrated or upset easily.
Looking at death - you may be thinking about death or wanting to die.
So as of today I'm breaking up with you and falling in love with myself. I dedicate myself to self-love and self care. I will recognize these symptoms in myself, and take care of me.
If you or anyone you love is experiencing any of these symptoms, it’s never too late to get help.
Depression is more common than you think. An estimated 17.4 million Americans have had at least one depressive episode, and it is more common than people like to admit. In fact this number would be significantly higher if more people took mental health more seriously. Currently 35% of depressed individuals do not seek help for their condition. Having depression is not embarrassing and there is nothing wrong with seeking help. Mental Health is serious, and taking care of it will change your life for the better. Get help today.
Baldwin, D., & Hirschfeld, R. (2005). Depression. Health Press.